Hello Shiny People! I’m working on a new-fangled blog format. Two blogs in one. The top half will be all the shiny stuff - goats, flowers, family and daily life on the funny farm.
The bottom half will hold the textured stuff. The deeper and heavier things I’m thinking about. Texture is what makes the world interesting. It’s the thing that invites a second look and asks for presence.
Both are equally important.
After the shiny first half, you’ll see a line in the sand like this one ⬇️ - and that’s where the deep, ruminating, textured piece begins.
Here’s your Shiny Stuff -
Birthdays, Camino Gatherings and Goats
In the past week we’ve celebrated Barry and Lexie’s birthday.
In case you forgot, Lexie is Sam’s fiancée. We love her so.
Barry wanted a Camino gathering with a quiet side of birthday. So there were a few friends and family gathered at the shop. We had grand plans for how the evening would roll out. All 1400 photos would be circulating on the big tv while everyone sampled Spanish tortilla, tinto de verano, olives and sangria. Then we’d sit down for a typical pilgrim’s meal like we experienced on the Camino - green beans, pork chops and birthday cake for dessert.
The photo show didn’t happen. Our IT skills just weren’t good enough.
But the chow was awesome, and the people around us - even better.
I received strict orders that there would be NO SINGING of HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
So we hummed it.
For Lexie’s birthday, her Mom, Raylene flew in from Kansas City for the weekend. Barry grilled steaks and asparagus - so damn good. There was ice cream cake and we SANG happy birthday - cause Lexie let us.
She fully embraces a fine birthday celebration.
Raylene got to meet the goats and enjoy the pasta crunch. Mom brought flower seeds to share with Lexie and Raylene and we all laughed and laughed way past my bedtime.
It was awesome.
Thelma and Louise continue living the movie star life.
The Goat Beauty Pageant Rodeo is one month from today! Are we ready? Not really. Will we be? You bet your sweet ass. Semi-controlled chaos is the goal. Goat rope-ish.
We found out yesterday that Ralph of Soviero’s Garden Center fame - owns TWELVE GOATS! Soviero’s was already one of my favorite places to visit. It’s where I get most of my kokedama, staghorn fern, seeds, bedding plants, herbs, etc, etc, etc. And now there are goats? And they might be at the GBPR????? Shazam!
goat-rope n. a messy or disorganized situation. Also goat roping, goat rodeo.
This concludes your Thursday dose of shiny stuff.
This is the textured piece - the second half of today’s blog. It’s a long one:)
Leadership. What I Expect and Who Set the Example
There are magnificent, effective leaders and toxic, ineffective leaders everywhere. And I saw all of them in the Navy. That’s where I first learned the definition of leadership. That’s where I first saw it being taught and watched people being developed into leaders.
Strength in leadership shows up in those who have the ability and desire to motivate, serve and inspire. It is demonstrated by being humble, having integrity, discipline and faith in something bigger than themselves.
The LPOs (leading petty officers), Chiefs, division officers and commanding officers who understood and lived their role as leaders - worked their asses off for us - their people - so we could succeed, grow, thrive. That’s what enabled us (and them) to get the job done.
The good ones cared about who they led. They knew we were the key to getting things done. They set the example.
Some people in charge think leadership means being a hard ass - the boss everybody fears and avoids. That’s just a power trip wrapped in incompetence and fear. That might motivate me to stay out of trouble, but it will not inspire me to lead or to learn.
The job I loved most while in the Navy was as an intelligence specialist supporting Navy Seals. All new personnel went through an orientation, usually within the first month of checking in. That’s where we were introduced to the command’s organization from top to bottom. Admin, disbursing, medical, etc.
At the top was Capt Yeaw - the Commanding Officer. He greeted everyone and welcomed us to our new assignment. He probably spoke for 15 or 20 minutes letting us know what to expect from him, the command and what he expected from us.
There’s one thing he said that struck me - and I remember it and can see him saying it to this day. He said:
“If you get hurt or are in trouble, the first person you better see is me.”
It was important to him that we knew that. And there is no better feeling, knowing your boss cares. They have your back. That was in 1991 and it made an impression.
It immediately instilled trust, respect and a sense of belonging. That feeling lasted throughout my time at the command. It set the bar and became my measuring stick for future leaders.
It’s what I expect from my current leaders.
Good leaders communicate. What direction are we headed? What are we trying to accomplish? What are the expectations?
Expectations can be the linchpin. If I’m told that we are going to serve 100 hot hamburgers between 11:00 and 1:00 at the local community center - check. We have 4 hours to set up, cook, serve those burgers - and clean up - check.
But if that’s all I’m told, we’re missing vital information. Expectations can mean the difference between chaos and success.
Here’s what I would say if I were setting expectations for the hamburger crew:
Set your intention for being welcoming and generous.
We are feeding hungry people - make it as enjoyable as possible.
Always be prepping, cooking, serving or cleaning.
Have everything needed for the meal - condiments, silverware, napkins - fully stocked and in plain sight.
Have a trash and recycling bin at each exit.
Treat your coworkers as customers.
Greet everyone with Hey there! or How are you? or Good afternoon!
Smile and look them in the eye.
Being a good follower is just as important and also requires intention. A good follower listens, has ownership of the mission, asks questions for clarity, is reliable and respectful to everyone.
Those lessons and impressions are still valid in my older, civilianized, shiny, goat-lady life.
I want (demand) a good leader.
I want a leader who eats last. And that’s a tough role to fill.
When there is a void and nobody is showing up on a white horse with a well thought out plan - we - the people - step up. We circle around the vulnerable, we adjust and steady our course, and we take care of each other.
There are always people doing that - stepping up for those who can’t. Just look around you. Good leadership has to start with us. Filling the void one step at a time. And honestly, sometimes I can’t see it. It feels like there’s a vacuum and we’re all flailing, headless and lost. But when I stop and look for it - I’m relieved. I see it. I see us. Always, always, always - people stepping up, helping, doing the next right thing.
So think about it. Who shaped your idea of a good, strong leader?
What do you look for? Who do you follow?
Rusted buckets of love coming at ya. Hope you know you belong here.
This is my current favorite Shiny Girl Blog post. I just love every shiny, textured bit of it. ❤️